Thursday, January 8, 2015

Turning a Page; and a Year.

Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering 'it will be happier'…” 

---Alfred Tennyson--

Sometimes, there are years that you can’t wait to be done with. Other times, the year flies by in a blink. Thinking back a year might make you laugh out loud, smile with love or cry your heart out. The year changes, we turn a page in the calendar and hope for things to change. In recent years, through this space, I have started taking a peek back at the year past; and re-living moments that weren’t significant enough to be etched in memory forever, but momentous enough to deserve a mention.  Well over a week into the year 2015, I want to recount to you some of the tiny, unforgettable moments that made up my 2014. 

Despite my best efforts, circumstances turned me into an accidental housewife in the later half of 2014. Life, as I have lived for the past 14years, came to a chilling standstill. For a while, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was miserable, trying hard to get back in the work force. And then, one day, Baby P came home from school and asked if I could be a “home-mommy” forever. In that instant, caring for my family suddenly took on a whole new perspective. The newly-acquired status of a “home-mommy” seemed as ambitious and challenging as the one before that. I took a breather, and with A’s encouragement, decided to stay home for a while.

Lazing the summer: A dog’s life!!
The kids and I had the whole summer together, doing nothing, and yet a lot. I caught up on my reading, on old friendships. I started sneaking out an hour each day for myself- built myself a fitness routine, something that I’d wanted to do for a long time. I realized I could take a 20 minute shower everyday, AND have my breakfast with my husband, without getting late.

Once schools re-opened, I became a home room mom - experiencing a 7yr. old’s school time from a grown up’s eyes'.  It surprised me how much I enjoyed time with little kids- the ones who called me Mrs. Jain and got all bright-eyed when I chose to sit next to them. I never believed myself to be capable of communicating with 20 little kids at the same time…. The one hour-a-week I spent with them, helping them with their Math facts…those moments make up my memories of 2014.

In this past year, I have developed a new-found respect for working moms who cook, drive to activities and doctor’s appointments, as well as entertain on weekends with a full-time job. The most infuriating conversation starter I’ve encountered- “So, what do you do all day?”, and the best response to that, from Baby P’s lips “I like it that you are here when I go to school, and also when I come back from school. And you have time to play with me….” 2014 is the year where I played a lot……And home mommies- I promise I will never even think any less of you for choosing to keep your family ahead of your own personal ambitions.

San Juan, Puerto Rico
Last year, we took several memorable trips as a family, all of which were, in typical A fashion - impromptu, spur of the moment. After I got over my initial hemming and hawing and stressing, they all turned out to be absolutely priceless. I managed to get quite a few places off of my bucket list - 2015 will start off with an entirely new list for A to work on!

My husband, A, always asks if I’ve made my list of goals for the New Year. It’s hard for him to understand why I never do- considering that I am the kind of person who makes lists to keep a track of their lists!! The way I see it is, I don’t want to turn my future into a task or a burden. I believe in experiencing what life throws at you, and grow stronger with every day. Every year of MY life will have it’s own will. I will shape myself around life’s everyday gifts to make the best of it. Not the other way around. Setting goals for me is like catching the stars when I could have reached up higher and aimed for the sun.  So there- no goals for me; but if you have them, I wish that you get what you aim for in 2015.

Finally, as I get back to being a working mom again, I will always look back fondly at 2014 as the year that let me slow down and live my tiny moments of joy. 2014 was great; I am now ready for whatever 2015 holds in store for me. Happy New Year to you all! And lets meet again, soon….