Friday, May 9, 2014

Momspeak: A Mother's Day Post

A lifetime ago, deep inside my stomach, I felt the stirrings of a longing to be a mom. I blame it all on the fact that it was Christmastime and we were in the Toys R Us, in New York. There was no escaping dressed up little babies in strollers or adorable toddlers hanging onto their mammas for dear life. I didn't really "think" my "want" then.

Nine months later, I brought home my first little one. 

She was beautiful. Perfect. A headful of black hair, milky white smooth skin, all fingers and toes intact. For the first year, I loved dressing her up and cooing over her every milestone. I fed her every hour; stayed up with her  most nights. I couldn't put my camera down. In her two's, she made me grit my teeth and curb an urge to hand her over to another mom.  Right after she turned three, I started to have serious doubts on my mental stability when I decided to have a baby. By the time she'd turned four, I'd totally decided that my being a mom was all a big, scary dream. I was sure I'd wake up soon….

A week after her fifth birthday, we brought home our second one. 

This one was…not so perfect….. Bald, cross eyed, angry red, wrinkled, blotchy skin…but happy as a lark. She ate, she slept, she held onto me like I was her lifeline and she smiled a LOT. I blinked….and she was five years old already. I didn't even take many pictures….

My two, are as different as can be.

I feel blessed. The joy they bring to my soul is far greater than any pain my physical being has endured till now.

Both, pieces of my heart. Fragments of my dream. And the light of my future.

They have me as their mom- whether they like it or not. They are stuck with me; just as I am with them.  They've both left their babyhood behind and are standing on the precipice of life, waiting to unfold their  wings and fly away. 

I will always be their horizon - always just there within reach; within sight, no matter how far they go.

And even though my typical day looks like the one in the song below….I can't imagine my life without them.

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY to all. Smile; and suck it up- you ARE a mom!