When life hands you lemons.....For Chalks and Chopsticks

   I've been a silent reader of a food-fiction event called Of Chalks and Chopsticks for a very long time now. I'd like to say that I've pretty much read every piece of writing that appeared on this platform. I've even made up a bunch of stories; and imagined myself winning kudos from all those awesome writers in this group. If you haven't heard of me till now, that's probably because you can't get in my head. Today, my heart won. This is my first entry to celebrate the revival of Of Chalks & Chopsticks. Hope you like it...and if you don't; I'll just make Shikanji out of all the lemons you throw at me!

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   Nimit gazed up at the sky. And sighed. What was it- like maybe his millionth sigh. He'd been sitting out here in the scorching sun for hours...it sure felt like hours. He'd tried reasoning with Malini through closed doors...and porch screen...and then through the kitchen window. He'd even threatened to break down the doors if she didn't let him back in. She just turned on her heels  and went about whatever she was doing on the stove.  

   

   What is she making in there? Whatever it is, smells divine. I should seriously teach her a lesson for doing this to me. Maybe I should just run away from home and have an affair with Jeannie.

    This thought hadn't even blown in his mind before it was shattered to smithereens by the image of his big father-in-law -with all his arsenal. "Mini is my little touch-me-not. You make sure you always treat her right, or you'll regret this day forever. Not that you won't regret it anyways". This was the begrudging blessing Nimit got six months ago from his very angry 'papa'-in-law. The first time he asked, he'd been chased by three dogs and a shotgun. The next time, he'd spent a whole night in jail. Finally, Malini had taken matters in her own hands. He was very surprised, even shocked, when he opened his door that evening to see a beaming Malini, and the sullen face of his future father-in-law.  When he asked her how; she'd given him one of her gorgeous, dimpled smiles - and no explanation. He sighed again. 

    If only I'd known what lay ahead in my life that day.....I am so hot....I am so hungry...will she think of me over lunch? Knowing her, she won't. And all those wonderful smells coming out the kitchen. I should try to talk with her again.

   Nimit's timid knock on the kitchen window met with a very intimidating glare, and his resolve wavered. He came back to where he's been stationed all morning. 

   He glanced miserably at the little basket in front of him. 
   Maybe I should try one more time, maybe the lemons will be more co-operative now.

   He had no idea what to do. He'd tried putting the lemon in the little machine that Malini used everyday. All he got in return was a mushy mess that did not resemble Shikanji in any way.  Now, he tried squeezing one of the little fellas between his fingers....but got shot with acid in his eyes instead. And what was that big thing with holes in it? He'd been staring at it all morning but couldn't think of what to do with it. He'd racked his brains, there just wasn't anywhere to plug the wire in it.

   Everything runs on power now. There's got to be an outlet somewhere. Why did they not teach them anything about kitchen appliances in Engineering school? Maybe I should write to the alumni association and let them know of this grave oversight. 

   He was so hot right now. He'd kill for a glass of that ice-cold Shikanji. He must have been totally flipped last night when he'd laughed at Malini's choice of refreshment for his friends. He closed his eyes, and relived the...nightmare. Another sigh escaped him.

   A few of his friends had invited themselves over to meet Malini. It was alright with him; after all this is what he did with his friends before he got married. They'd just go to some one's house after work and spend the evening drinking beer and eating pizza. This time, he assumed they'd do the same...and that Malini would join them. He didn't think twice about suggesting that they go to his home right after work. They'd ordered pizzas before they left office and stocked up on liquor on the way. And he'd laughed...laughed...at Malini's confused face when she opened the door to let him in.

  Malini was the perfect hostess though- she let us all in and came back a few minutes later with glasses-ful of Shikanji for them all. And like a fool, I'd laughed again. I sealed my own fate...

   Nimit looked morosely at the lemons again. He tried to practice his juggling, and then his teeing. 

   If only I had a watch....wonder what time is it. Hopefully lunch time. And maybe Malini will have pity on my starving soul. 

   If Nimit closed his eyes, he could see and smell Malini's perfectly cooked rice, delicately spiced daal, her spicy hot chutneys and light as air phulkas. And to think that he'd given up all of that in favor of a slice of pizza last night. Malini had been so upset....he just didn't see it then.  She'd gone to bed early - and she hadn't eaten pizza either. And this morning....she'd thrown him out of bed, and out of the home with that chilling verdict....

   You think my cooking for you is a joke? Just make me a glass of Shikanji like I did for you; and you can come back in.
   And here he was, with a basketful of lemons and the paraphernalia that he knew nothing about.  He sighed again, leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. And drifted away.
   That vision of Malini was such a joy to see. And she brought with her a glass of frosty cool heaven. "I hope you've learned your lesson", the vision said. "Here, come out of the heat. I made you some imlaana to cool you off." Nimit couldn't control himself. He gulped down the whole glass in a single breath. 
  "Well..."
   "Well what...."

   "Did you like it?"

   "Yeah.....could have taken a little more sugar though. Your imlaana was breathing fire just like you..."

   Nimit knew he had not dreamed of this whole conversation when he heard the door slam and felt the house shake. He knew  He knew from that cool, tangy taste in his mouth that it wasn't the vision of Malini that had soothed his parched throat with the heavenly imlaana. He also knew from his pounding heart that he'd definitely put his foot in the mouth again.

   He sighed one more time, and settled down to wait out this second round of punishment. 

   Hopefully, this time she'll come back before dark...and before dinner......