Saturday, July 2, 2011

One Step Forward, Two Back.....

Life has such a tendency to throw you out on a spin when you least expect it, to leave you breathless and open-mouthed and wanting to ask SOMEONE "now what the h*** did YOU do that for?"  I really wish there was a way to rewind life periodically and take a peek at what went wrong where. I don't even want an 'Edit' control ....just a plain 'Review', and then the "Aa Haa!' moment.  Then maybe I wouldn't begrudge all the punches that seemingly come out of the blue and shatter my mirrored wall of Existence. If I had my answers, SOME answers, I'd probably take all that came my way with a grin and a pinch of salt. As of now; I'm left pretty much feeling like a beached fish after a flash flood. There is absolutely no sensible explanation to my last week...any way I look at it.

One moment I was standing there, relaxed after a long, mid-afternoon shower, happy about all I'd accomplished that morning and eagerly looking forward to a great evening with friends and family; and the next, I was in the ER being told by the stern-looking doctor that I needed an emergency surgery for my situation was critical. And as they put me under the fog for the second time this year, all I could do was question this unfairness....without getting any answers.

Almost exactly 5 months ago, I'd had to go an emergency appendectomy- not a big deal, everyone said. A lot of people have their appendix removed- some during childhood. You'll do fine without it. I believed them. It's been a struggle, but I tried. Any surgery, big or small, leaves our body to deal with a lot of readjustments. And my body appears to be a slow-healer. I had occassional abdominal pain in my right side, but the doc wasn't concerned much. My doctor was confident that there had been no complications, and in time I'd be back to a perfect ten. So, I prodded along - one step forward at a time.

This past Saturday, June 25th, was no different either. I'd been working around my slight abdominal tenderness for almost 2 weeks by now -attributing it all to a slowed digestion. Take your fiber supplement tonight, I reminded myself in the shower. And take it easy for the next hour till your guests arrive. That never happenned. In the next hour, my pain spiralled out of conrol, I was retching continuously and the girls were scared just watching me cry. Our friends came to the rescue once again; took the kids away from home. Then A & I started our 45 min drive to the University Hospital...I can't make it that far, I told A after about 5 minutes in the car. He pulled in to the closest ER, and within an hour we had our verdict- another surgery.

Scar tissue from appendectomy, called adhesion strips, have twisted around your small intestines causing obstruction. It appears to be gangrenous, and needs to be removed within the next hour.

And that is the story of how I lost a 12 -inch piece of my gut.

As well as my perfect Saturday.

Not to mention an entire week out of my life.........and my girls' life...........

I came home yesterday. And am extremely mad at SOMEONE. Only if I knew who to get angry at, I'd relieve myself. Or only if LIFE had a 'REWIND' button........